Mother's Day

So I have been thinking a lot about motherhood the last few days and I really felt like sharing them on my blog. I have been thinking about Motherhood in a lot of different ways. I used to just reflect on my own mother on Mother's day but as I have grown-up and my life has changed my views on motherhood have changed.

First I wanted to talk about my own moms. I have been so blessed because Heavenly Father gave me 2 moms. First is my "real" mom as I like to call her. I don't think I ever appreciated my mom as much as I do now that I am a mom. We are pretty close now. We had our differences when I was teenager but as I've grown up we've grown closer. She is an amazing person. She has such unconditional love for people around her. She is one of the most compassionate people I know. I often think of the Mother Theresa quote that says "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" when I think of my mom. She is always thinking of ways she can help other people out and really admire that about her. She is also an awesome grandma! It's been so fun to see my mom as a grandma. My kids call her Grandma SoSo. One memory that I wanted to share is when my mom and I went on a cruise for my senior trip. We had so much fun! We laughed so much! It was fun to spend a whole week with her. I think she was glad to spend the time with me too, especially since Dave proposed the day we got home! I was grateful for my mom this week because she came and took care of me Tuesday after I had my gallbladder surgery. It was fun to sit and talk with her. I am also lucky to have my mom #2. I don't feel like I could ever call Julie my "Step-mom" because she's just my mom. I have 2 moms and that's just the way it is. It's confusing sometimes because I call them both mom. Sometimes even my husband has to clarify who I'm talking about. They are both listed in my phone as "Mom". I am so grateful that my "real" mom is so cool about sharing me with my mom #2. That's another amazing thing about my mom! My mom #2 married my dad when I was 8. At the time I was living in Arizona with my dad and at the time it was just the 2 of us. Along with a second mom I got 2 sisters and later another brother. It didn't take very long for my mom to become my mom. She took an awkward 8 year old and helped shaped me into a pretty well-grounded teen-ager. I lived with my dad from the time I was 12 until I got married and then David and I lived with them for about 3 years after we were married. My mom has always loved me like her own. I really feel like she's my mom. She used to listen to my boring stories everyday after school and she would always listen to me tell her about the latest book I was reading. I'm sure that she was bored out of her mind listening to me talk sometimes but you would never know it! She taught me how to cook and do laundry and make a bed and clean bathrooms. She also helped me through the awful highschool years when I thought that nobody would ever want to date me let alone marry me! She kept telling me that somebody special would come along and she was right. I was so excited when she learned how to text a few months ago because it's much easier to talk to her everyday! She has also been such a fun grandma to my kids.

I have also been thinking a lot about my mother-in-law, whom I've never met. 26 years ago today she died suddenly at the young age of 31 leaving 6 young children ranging in ages 6 weeks through 9 years. My husband David was that 6 week old baby. Her name was Paula Jean. We gave Anna her middle name after her grandma Paula's middle name. It seems unfair to me that I had the opportunity to have 2 moms growing up and my husband didn't even get 1! I have no doubt in my mind that she is still a very real part of our lives. I know that she was there the day we got married and I know that she was with our children before they came to us. There are many quiet moments when Anna will get very alert and look past me and I know that her grandma Paula is near. A few years ago David's aunt's put a book of memories together for the kids. There are some pictures in the back of the book. I pulled the book down earlier in the week to show Joseph. The last picture in the book is the last family picture taken before she died. It has all the kids except David. Joseph liked to point to all the people and have me tell him who they are. I pointed to Paula and told him that was his very special Grandma Paula who watches over him from Heaven. I told him that she died. Joseph looked at me and while pointing to Paula said "grandma died." I know that he has no concept of what "died" means but it was still very sweet. Later in the week he pointed to the book and we looked at the pictures again. He again pointed to Paula and said "grandma died" He had remembered our earlier conversation. I was surprised he remembered. We went and bought a little potted white daisy (Paula's favorite flower) and we let Joseph decorate the pot with Mickey Mouse stickers and he colored her a card. We took it to her grave today. He loved the cemetery. He proudly put his pot of flowers on her grave and then he liked to look at the picture of the temple on the grave. He also liked walking around looking at all the flowers and pinwheels and balloons. We took a picture of him sitting down by a grave. He was just sitting there and it looked like he was deep in thought. I wondered what was going through his little 2 year old mind. I have thought a lot about being a mother a lot today too. I love being a mom! I can't tell you how being a mom ha changed my life. I never knew it was possible to love another human being this much! I mean don't get me wrong I love my husband but it's such a different love you have for your children. Joseph made me a little hand print with a cute little poem in nursery. I couldn't even read it without crying! The poem was about how one day I'll miss his little hands. I can't believe how quickly both of my kids are growing. Anna will be 2 months old this week and Joseph is a little boy now. It seems like he skipped the whole toddler stage! I love these 2 little people. I hope that I can do a good job raising them! I love them both so much! I am so grateful that I am married to someone who makes motherhood a priority! He is willing to make sacrifices so that I can stay home and take care of the kids. I love him so much! I'm sorry for such a long post but I just had some things on y mind that I wanted to share with you--who ever you are!

Joseph and Anna with their great-grandma Stevens, ( David's mom's mom!) on Mother's Day. That's him below playing with the ducks outside Grandma's house.

So the other day I found Joseph sitting in Anna's swing. He turns it on and then climbs in and plays with his cars. The little stinker!