Waiting...

Ok so I am feeling a little frustrated at this point! I have been trying to patiently wait for Anna to get here but I have had it! 2 weeks ago at my appointment I was dilated to a 2.5 and was 75% effaced. The Doctor said he thought that I possibly could go into delivery by the end of the week but he thought for sure I would have a baby by the following week. So after a long week with lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions still no baby. At my appointment on Tuesday I was dilated to a 3 and was 90 % effaced. I knew my grandad was really sick and that he wasn't going to make it through the week. I told my doctor this and so he stripped my membranes in hopes to get things going in the next couple of days so I could potentially make it to the funeral down in St. George. Well here it is Friday and still no baby! My grandad did pass away Wednesday night and the funeral is going to be on Monday. I've been so sad because I know that at this point it is unrealistic to think that we can go to St George for the funeral because if we do have a baby before then she'll be too tiny to travel and if I don't have the baby by then there is no way I could travel. So I'm stuck...This is my first grandparent to pass away and it makes me sad to not be able to go and honor him at his funeral. I know that the funerals are really for the living but I am still bummed that I can't go. I feel like I am going crazy just waiting around. I have been trying to keep busy but having this baby is all I can think about. So as a way to sort of vent and help me feel better about missing my grandad's funeral I thought I would write down a few thoughts about my grandad. My grandparents moved to St. George when I was in highschool but before then they lived really close to my house. I have a lot of fond memories of my grandad when I was a child. They used to live in this big house with this huge multi level back yard. He loved taking care of that yard. On the main level he had little lawn animals all around for us to look at. On the second level there was a play house that he re-painted for us to play in. On the 3rd level it was mostly large overgrown trees that he transformed into "Dorothy's Woods." I think he got the idea to do this when my younger cousin went through a stage where she loved the Wizard of Oz. I also remember lots of Friday nights that I would spend the night at their house. We would usually always eat at The Belgium Waffle house. He would always tell the waitress that his name was Harley Figg. If it was one of the regular waitresses they would just laugh because they knew my grandad was joking. If it was a new waitress they would always get a strange look on their face when he would tell them his name. Often times after dinner we would go and visit his mom and sister. I have lots of good memories of the week-ends that I would spend the night. When I was 11 or 12 my grandparents took me on a trip to Jackson Hole and Yellowstone. It was such a fun week-end. I remember him buying me pretty much anything I wanted for a souvenir. He did love to spoil his grandkids. When my parents first divorced we stayed at my grandparents for a few days. Us kids were pretty broken up. I remember my grandad taking all 3 of us downtown to the Children's museum and the planetarium. It was his way of letting us know we were going to be ok. One of the most tender memories I have happened a few years ago before he started to get sick. It was either right after highschool or right after I got married. We were at my mom's house for dinner. I was sitting down on the couch and he came and sat down next me. He kissed me on the forehead and said I love you kid. I'll never forget that. He wasn't a really expressive man with his emotions but it was a special moment. I'm grateful that he was at my wedding and that he was still here when I had Joseph. I think it made him pretty proud to have 2 great-grandsons and a grandson all the same age. The last time I saw my grandad a few months ago. He kept saying how neat it was the Johnny, Joseph and Joseph were all the same age. I know that Anna will have a chance to meet him before she comes. Maybe that's why she's taking her time getting here! I am so grateful to have a testimony of this gospel and to know that families are forever and that life is eternal. I am so grateful for the Savior and his sacrifice which makes this possible!